Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Birth: Baby Out of my Baby!

The Day of our Birth - April 2, 2012

3:00AM I came out of a very deep sleep to the sound of my wife talking and the lamp turned on. I could not understand what she was saying at first as it took me a few seconds to wake up. I saw her frantic look which awakened me faster. She said "Honey, I don't mean to alarm you, but I'm having strong contractions frequently which I am unable to sleep through."

I asked her how painful they are. She said painful enough so she couldn't sleep through them. She also said after timing them for over an hour they were approximately 4 minutes apart and lasted 45 seconds to a minute. We both knew about the 4-1-1 Rule which means when the contractions are at least 4 minutes apart lasting at least 1 minute for at least 1 hour you should go to the hospital.

I started to get goosebumps and felt slightly sick to my stomach with anticipation. We then called the nurse line to get some advice. As expected, they did not advise us to hurry to the hospital just yet. They suggested her to take a warm shower and call back in an hour see if that affected the contractions.

4:00AM Called the nurse line back and she reported that the shower didn't slow the contractions, actually they had increased in the intensity and were lasting a little longer now, about 1 minute. She said okay a couple more times quickly and hung up. Then she looked at me with a excited/worried look. "We're going to the hospital! Quick, finish packing our hospital bag"

After grabbing her robe and a few last minute items, we were off! She was having contractions while driving to the hospital, but it wasn't like the movies. No water had broken yet, I wasn't speeding, and she wasn't screaming in pain. We were calm, turned on some classical music and drove the speed limit. I was a little fast around corners which prompted her to tell me to slow down so she could stay comfortable.

5:00AM Arrived at the hospital. We parked in and headed up to labor and delivery. After checking in the front desk, we were seated in a triage bed. The nurse on staff came and hooked Nikki up to monitors. The also checked her cervix. She was 2 centimeters dilated. Nothing to be alarmed about since most women labor at home until they get to 4.

Nikki was upset and was thinking that she might get sent home. She was uncomfortable and didn't like the prospect of leaving the hospital. She wanted to have the baby now! So, the nurse suggested that we walk around the hospital for about an hour to see if that helped her progress.

6:25AM It seemed like forever, we made several laps on the first and second floor and Nikki's feet were really starting to get swollen and hurting her. Surprisingly, the contractions dulled and she couldn't feel them as much while walking. After 45 minutes of walking we sat down to rest by the doors of labor and delivery. Then the on-call midwife showed up. She was very nice and explained that we might not be progressing fast enough to stay at the hospital.

This made Nikki more upset and she wanted to have the baby. The midwife sympathized and said why don't we check your cervix again to and go from there. We agreed and headed back into the triage room. The contractions were intensifying now and she was in more pain. I was holding her hand now. We both waited impatiently as we watched the baby's heart rate and the contractions go up and down on the monitor.

8:00AM After about another 30 minutes I was just about to get someone and the midwife and nurse came in. They asked her how the contractions were and she said more painful and just as frequent. They checked the cervix again to find out she was 4 centimeters! She also had some bloody show which was a sign that labor was starting. A sigh of relief came over both of us and they transferred us to our labor room!

8:40AM Now the real pain started! If you read our birth plan, you know that Nikki did not want an epidural. I showed the nurse and the midwife our birth plan I had saved on my cell phone. She wanted to try a water birth if possible and no pain medication if possible. We quickly learned this was a tall order to live up to! Her contractions were increasing in intensity and duration. The pain now was centered on the sides of her hips more than anywhere else.

She described the pain from the contractions as sharp stabbing on the sides of her hips and she asked me to start rubbing there on each side as she was having the contraction. It alleviated the pain somewhat and I was happy to help in anyway I could even if I couldn't help much.

10:15AM They checked her cervix again, she was at 6 centimeters! The contractions were getting more painful now and I had to rub her hips harder each time. My hands were starting to hurt, but I didn't care, it was nothing compared to her pain and it seemed to help somewhat. I did have to keep readjusting where I rubbed because her pain seemed to change locations slightly each contraction but still along the sides of her hips and lower back.

We tried several positions to help the labor along. First she tried hands and knees, which seemed to help for awhile but then it became too painful again. Each contraction I rubbed vigorously until the pain subsided. She then told the midwife that she wanted to get in the bathtub. We knew that laboring in the water can be easier for women and it relieve some of the pain from the contractions.

She sat in the tub cross-legged facing the tiled wall and I continued my rubbing during contractions. She said it did help significantly and I could even gently pour warm water over her between contractions which was soothing she said.

I learned many of these comfort measures from our lamaze class at Baby Love Childbirth Education Classes in Eagan, MN. They taught me to basically be at her beckon call through labor and to do anything she asked. It seemed to help and it was the least I could do for my beautiful wife.

11:30AM after over an hour in the tub, the water was losing its effectiveness in relieving the pain. She was starting to cry and I cried with her. It was so hard seeing her in pain with her teardrops hitting the bathtub water each time a contraction came. It seemed unbearable pain at that point. After a particularly painful contraction, she looked at me and said "I want an epidural!" I said okay dear and kept helping her through the pain while we waited for the midwife to come back. We mentioned it to the midwife and she suggested we check the cervix again to see where she was at and then if we wanted we could start the process of getting the epidural.

11:45AM She laid back down on the bed and the contractions got worse still. The midwife asked her where her pain was on a scale of 1-10 and she said a 9. They suggested some mild narcotic pain medication also called opiods. They would help with the pain but be relatively harmless to mother and baby and would feel like you had a couple glasses of wine. After injecting the medication by IV she felt some relief right away. It didn't help much with the pain of contractions, just helped her rest in between.

She was in a lot of pain now and uncomfortable on the bed. They then suggested the exercise ball. She sat on the ball with her head and arms resting on the bed. They suggested I sit behind her to support her since she now as a bit uncoordinated from the medication. They suggested she do a hula hoop motion with her hips during the contraction as I rubbed still in about the same spot. They also suggested that she say some phrases to help her breathing. She said "Owie Owie Owie" over and over during the contraction that seemed to help. The nurse then said "You're going to hula that girl out of there!" We both laughed briefly and Nikki even cracked a smile for a second which the nurse and the midwife were delighted to see.

12:15PM Nikki carefully climbed back on the bed and they checked her cervix again. She was at a 9! The midwife was astonished how fast she was progressing and just then her mom showed up. She jumped right in comforting her on one side with me on the other while the nurse and midwife monitored. Between contractions I spent my time getting fresh cool washcloths for her forehead, eating a brief meal for energy, and I quickly called my mom to let her know it was time for her to come to the hospital.

12:45PM The pain was off the charts now. Nikki was screaming and crying at times like I had never seen her do before. She seemed barely conscious, almost in a trance like state of pain and anguish! I couldn't contain myself as I sobbed over her. My teardrops fell on her back as I continually massaged her hips. The muscles in my arms were burning now from the pain of rubbing for nearly 6 hours but still I kept going. I know she needed me to continue and it was the least I could do.

We then changed positions again. This time draping her body over the front of the bed with it elevated. This position helped as she didn't have to hold her body up anymore on her hands and knees. It seemed never ending!

1:00PM Between another whopper of a contraction, the midwife asked if Nikki wanted her to break her bag of water. The midwife warned if she did this it would speed things up drastically and the pain would get even more intense. Without hesitation, she said loudly "Let's do this!" My mother-in-law and I couldn't help but laugh a bit because she was so confident in her answer. She was determined to have this baby now!

1:05PM Just after they broke her water, my Mom came in the room in between contractions. I briefly hugged and kissed her when another one started. Now they encouraged Nikki to push. She was completely exhausted so the only position left now was on her back. Now her mom and mine stood back and watched. The nurse took one leg and I took the other. We held them as to have counter pressure for her to push against. Nikki was pushing so hard that the midwife told her to stop, she needed to take more breaths between pushes.

1:10PM Things were happening so fast now thinking back it was like a blur of motion. The bag of water was leaking out and during one of the pushes the midwife saw the crowing of the head. Meconium," the midwife said and suggested that the nurse call the nic unit to stand by to suction the baby off after birth due to thick meconium (the baby's first stool) in the amniotic fluid. Just then I looked down and saw it too. Anxiety flushed over me in a wave. I asked the nurse is the baby okay? She said yes as the baby was still being monitored and the vital signs looked good. Still, I couldn't imagine how the baby could breathe with how think the Meconium looked!

1:20PM The pushing was extremely intense now. The pain was off the charts, we were all encouraging her to push as much as she could. The baby's head was coming out a couple of centimeters. Whew, another contraction done. I noticed that the baby's head would sink back in a couple centimeters between contractions. Almost like 2 steps forward, 1 step back. I thought, how much longer can we go? Then another contraction was starting. This was the most intense one yet. Nikki seemed to push forever with all she had. I was absolutely in awe as I watched what happened next...

The head came out 3 centimeters, then 4, 5, 6, 7, and then enough for the midwife to grasp the head on both sides. She came out face down or in the anterior position which we learned in our class is the preferred method.

It was jaw dropping amazing! I don't understand why I used to and many men still say they wouldn't want to watch it. It was truly the miracle of life right before my eyes. Sure, she was messy and bloody and covered with meconium, but you overlook the gross stuff. Her little chubby body was pulled out in one fluid motion by the midwife. She flopped onto the bed head first quickly the midwife turned her and made sure she was breathing.

1:26PM A nurse called the time of birth and she was born!!! Then the nurse quickly cut the umbilical cord and whisked the baby over to a nearby auxiliary table where she was promptly suctioned off to get all the meconium off of her and to inspect her. We were all silent. We just walked over to inspect the baby ourselves and she was still purple, and was silent. They gave her a little oxygen but then took it off as she was breathing on her own. They said she luckily hadn't aspirated any meconium. She opened her eyes and was looking around for the first time in a new world!

After making sure she was okay, they brought her back to my wife, her new proud and exhausted mom! We had almost forgot about Nikki for a minute there, but I apologized for being distracted, I just wanted our baby to be okay.

Then Nikki held little Josephine for the first time!

That's right, we decided to name her Josephine, or Josie for a nickname. It's one of those old fashioned sounding names that's coming back into style. She was 7 lbs. 3 oz. and 19.3 inches long!

So now that my beautiful baby is officially out of my baby, blogging about our pregnancy has come to a close. I enjoyed writing about this and I hope you have enjoyed reading about my experience. I will continue to post on this blog about my journey into fatherhood raising Josie and at my New Blog:

Very Inspiring Blogger Award

Thank you for reading from me (Justin), my wife who is my baby (Nikki), and from my baby now out of my baby, Josie! (right before we left the hospital, pretty in pink in her car seat)


  1. wow! Congratulations to your new baby.. She's beautiful.. Have more blessing to come to your whole family. :)

    Cord Blood Banking

  2. Congratulations to you and your wife for having such a beautiful kid. And I commend you for being so calm and collected on such frantic occasions. There times when husbands lose their cool when their wives go into labor. This adds pressure to mother-to-be, who is already in pain. The best thing to do is to collect your wits and get to action fast. Get the hospital bag, and get her to the hospital.

    (Chalice Lindgren)

  3. A father’s role during his wife’s pregnancy is very important. More often than not, a wife will appreciate a man who is involved in what she is going through, someone who is attentive to her needs. In your story, it is clear that, during those times, you’ve been very helpful to your wife. This has surely been one of the most exciting and challenging parts of your being a father.

    *Chelsea Leis

  4. Congratulation! Your baby is very beautiful

  5. Your story is just amazing and after reading this I could imagine how you must have felt at that time. My wife is observing some signs of pregnancy. Hope that I will also be able to have a same kind of day in my life.