25 Weeks Pregnant - Looking more like a Newborn

My wife is now at 28 weeks pregnant today, the start of the third and final trimester! Finally!(says my wife) My baby girl is now 13.5 inches long from her head to heels, as big as a Rutabaga! She now weighs 1-1/2 pounds she is getting bigger with even stronger movements.

Her wrinkled skin is starting to smooth out as she is looking more and more like a newborn if you could see her. She's beginning to exchange her long lean look for more baby fat. She's also growing more hair and if you could see it you would be able to see the color and texture.

We've noticed her moving A LOT! Sometimes when we least expect it she'll make my wife's belling move in mysterious ways. It kind of freaks us out sometimes but is wonderful to feel our baby moving and trying to figure out what body part it is. We've also seen quite a few moving baby in uterus videos on youtube and this is a shockingly great example:

Alien-like Moving Baby - WOW!

Link

Sympathy Weight Update: Gained a few from residual Christmas/New Years Pounds, 208 lbs, my sympathy weight gained stands at 23 lbs so far! Now that Christmas is finally over I can start eating more healthy and exercising. I need to stay healthy for my baby.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as an English Hothouse Cucumber, believe it or not!

See How My Baby's Growing at 25 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Rutabaga, what the heck is a Rutabaga?!?!

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24 Weeks Pregnant - My Baby Can Taste, Lungs Developing!

My wife is now at 24 weeks pregnant today. My baby girl is now just over 1 foot long, as big as a ear of corn! She now weighs over one pound and she is growing at a steady pace now and her movements are getting stronger. She is still pretty lean looking but soon she'll start plumping up. Her skin is translucent due to the thin layer but that will thicken soon. Her brain is quickly developing and she is getting taste buds. We had tuna hot dish tonight and I wonder if she could taste it... hmm.. probably not but it's a nice thought.

My baby girl is also getting ready to breathe. Her lungs are developing the infrastructure that allows breathing with little branch like structures that collect oxygen and cells that product a substance called surfactant. Surfactant will allow air sacs in her developing lungs to inflate and collect air once she leaves the womb and she takes her first breath! I suppose it makes sense since we're almost to the third trimester in a couple weeks here.

My wife is doing well. She is really starting to feel large and I think she feels a bit self conscious. We went grocery shopping tonight and the female clerk asked her if she was having the baby in a couple weeks. She said no, I'm only 6 months along, and the clerk couldn't believe it because of the size she is currently at. I try to reassure her that everyone is different and gets pregnant at different rates.

It's also harder for her to exert herself and get around so I'm trying to help by carrying everything, opening the doors for her, and letting her have plenty of time to rest. I also get her water constantly. When in doubt I always refill her cup because she goes through so much. We hear staying hydrated while pregnant is absolutely crucial and many pregnant women don't get enough liquids.

Name Update: We have not picked out a name yet for our baby girl. Well at least not officially. We are keeping it a secret because there are so few secrets left. I will say we are very sure of our first choice and do have a second choice picked out, but that could change of course. We are thinking of the middle name also, it may be a tribute to a late grandparent, but we're not sure. Either way I will Update you here when we announce it to the family!

Sympathy Weight Update: I think I'm leveling off, same weight as last week, 205 lbs, my sympathy weight gained stands at 20 lbs so far! Now that Christmas is finally over I can start eating more healthy and exercising. I need to stay healthy for my baby.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as an Rutabaga, what the heck is a Rutabaga?!?!

See How My Baby's Growing at 24 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Ear of Corn!

Women, you are the Superior Sex! You give us Life!

I just need to take a moment to thank women, and in particular, my wife who makes this blog possible and who makes me possible. Without her I would be nothing. Here's a video I made about women being the superior sex. I thought it was relevant to post, because my blog is about how women give life and the messy, uncomfortable burden that comes along with it we call pregnancy. It's also appropriate because I was brought into this world by a wonderful woman, my mother. Now my beautiful wife is now a mother to be with our growing girl inside her who will likely grow up to be a mother herself and repeat this beautiful symphony of life.

I'm so thankful to have so many great women in my life. Men need to start treating all women the way they deserve to be treated. They are the superior sex and we are just here to do our part and support them in any way we can! I'm a sensitive man and try to love everyone just the way they are.

Read More about Thinking Sensitively on my Blog: thinkingsensitively.blogspot.com

"Women, you are beautiful just the way all of you are! Don't let a man, any man, or society tell you how to look or act. Love yourself! You are superior to us in every single way. A secret a lot of men don't want to tell you is that you are the superior sex. You need to rise up, and take all of the white man's powerful jobs in the world, and take your rightful place as our better, more intelligent half. This is coming from a man who loves women. I love my mother and I love my wife. Women you are smarter, stop questioning your superiority and embrace it. We love you, on behalf of men, or at least most men."

23 Weeks Pregnant - My Baby Can Hear and Dance!

My wife is now at 23 weeks pregnant today. My baby is now about 1 foot long, as big as a large mango! She now weighs just over one pound and her sense of movement is fully developed and she seems to be dancing in there. Blood vessels in her lungs are quickly developing and getting ready for breathing. She is now becoming accustomed to loud noises like our dog barking.

I've begun talking to my baby. It was a little weird talking to my wife's belly at first, then it became less weird. I even tried singing to her. I sung "Oh Holy Night" to my my little growing girl. My wife laughed when I got to the high soprano part. It also had the dual effect of putting me in the Christmas spirit and in a good mood.

Unfortunately, this week and today my wife is getting the Round Ligament Pain again that I spoke about in Week 19. It is a brief stabbing sensation that usually only lasts for a few seconds or also can be a dull pain which she feels in her lower abdomen between her groin to just under her belly button and along her hips. If you traced a line of a high cut bikini swimsuit that's where the pain is. She keeps telling me she wished I could feel it so I would understand. I keep offering to stab my stomach, but when that doesn't work I just try and be supportive.

Tomorrow we have another doctors appointment, the regular check up. We're thinking our midwife might change and move up our due date a little (now it's 4/15/12) because in the sex determining ultrasound at Week 20 the baby measured larger than it's supposed to be at this point. I'll update you next week about that.

We were wondering some more if her belly button would pop out soon. It's still an innie but it might not be for long. I keep joking that it might sound like the button popping out of a turkey when it's done when we were younger. I did some searching and found that this is a common concern among women. Apparently, some women are quite annoyed with their belly button sticking out so much and even go as far as taping it down so it doesn't show with the clothing they wear. That made us laugh but then my wife said, "that would annoy me too!"

Just to be fair, since this blog is about my sympathy weight in addition to my wife's pregnancy, and because I've been showing pictures of her belly, it's only fair that I show mine! Now this picture really shocked me that my belly is as big as this is, but I shouldn't feel bad because this is how she feels everyday but worse right? This is my heaviest weight of my life, 205 lbs and my sympathy weight gained stands at 20 lbs so far! Time for some exercise for real now. Starting tomorrow... or maybe after the new year.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as an Ear of Corn believe it or not!!! Ouch

See How My Baby's Growing at 23 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Large Mango!

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Getting the Nursery Ready for our Baby Girl's Arrival

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In this video I show you our messy spare bedroom which will be transformed into a beautiful nursery for our new baby girl. She is our tax day baby, due on April 15, 2012! It is a mess! I have my work cut out for me as we try to clean it up, paint, and decorate it. I am somewhat of an artist, so I plan to paint a cool mural in there.

Do you have any good ideas for a Mural in my little girl's room?

I NEED YOUR SUGGESTIONS, please submit your idea in a comment to this post, and thanks :)

I was thinking rolling hills with fun trees, blue sky with puffy clouds and a smiling sun setting, with animals, birds, and sleeping moon with a nightcap in the distance faintly showing in the sky with the sparkling stars coming out. I thought since the sun is setting the black sky will start to show towards the upper part of the wall and that could continue onto the ceiling. It would be really cool with glow in the dark stars for decorations.

Thanks in advance for your suggestions
~Justin

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I Can Hear the Baby Moving!

So my baby girl is moving more and more now inside my wife's belly, and it's really exciting. While I was feeling the movements the other night, I started thinking I wonder if I would be able to hear the baby moving if I placed my ear to her belly. Sure enough, I could! It sounds like an echo chamber probably because all the fluid and but you can distinctly hear the thumps of the baby's limbs abruptly pushing against the walls of the uterus! It sounds really cool to hear my baby for the first time. My wife felt a little left out when this happened though. She wanted to be able to hear her too. I haven't told her yet but I'm going to get a stethoscope soon so she can hear the movements also. I'm also starting to visualize her more and more. I can almost see her growing if I imagine as I look at my wife's belly. I think the seeds of fatherhood have now been planted as I'm thinking more and more about it and think I'm starting the bonding process. In an email the other day my wife even signed it her name and baby. That made me happy, I look forward to being a father so much. Until next week, thanks for reading!

22 Weeks Pregnant - Developing Tooth Buds

My wife is now at 22 weeks pregnant today. My baby is now 11 inches long, about the length of a spaghetti squash! She is now almost one pound in weight and is now beginning to look like a miniature newborn. Her lips, eyelids, and eyebrows are becoming more pronounced, and she is even developing the buds of new teeth under her gums!

If you could see inside the uterus this week the baby would have a fine hair covering her called the lanugo and would be have wrinkled skin until her body fills out her skin all the way. Also, her pancreas which produces essential hormones is starting to form.

They also say this is when my wife's belly starts becoming a hand magnet and they are right, and for me too! I'm starting to feel the baby stronger now and have even been able to see the movement on the outside of the belly tonight! Also, her belly button is expected to pop out anytime now but for now it's still an innie.

She hasn't had stretch marks yet. We discovered that despite all the information and creams that claim to prevent them, getting them is actually hereditary and using creams won't prevent them. However, it does help to use a good moisturizer. My wife is also reading a book about breastfeeding. It is quite interesting, but the pictures made us laugh, they are a little over the top.

This week we are finally going to start preparing the nursery. Until now it's been my art studio/office/guitar room/pet room/storage room but soon with some paint and decorations it will become a beautiful nursery for our little girl. Since I like painting, I plan on painting the walls for her with blue skies and puffy clouds and rolling green hills and trees. I don't think we are going to just paint the room pink, that's too boring!

Sympathy Weight Update: 205.5 lbs! My highest ever! I had my yearly physical this week. (I turned 31 yesterday by the way) and they suggested that I start exercising. They are right, it should help with the extra pounds but also with the stress that comes with the pregnancy.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as a Large Mango believe it or not!!!

See How My Baby's Growing at 22 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Spaghetti Squash

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I Felt the Baby for the First Time!!!

It was amazing, it wasn't much, I don't think she is strong enough to push against her belly enough, I haven't felt kicking yet, but I did finally feel movement - a nudge as I held my wife's belly! For so long now she has been feeling the baby and I had felt left out. She said it's her reward for all the bad parts she already had to go through like the intense morning sickness and all the pains and cramps and she's right. I hope to feel my baby girl again soon, it's becoming more real now. With each step I become more attached to the baby growing inside my baby.

21 Weeks Pregnant - Eyebrows and Eyelids!

My wife will be 21 weeks pregnant tomorrow! Her belly is getting so big now... and Beautiful - I might add :) She is really starting to feel the weight and is having more pains and difficulty moving around. I'm trying to take care of my baby and my baby girl inside though.

My baby is now about 10-1/2 inches long, about the size of a carrot! (I'm really starting to feel bad for her having something so big in her!) This may seem like a huge jump now because last week she was only about 6-1/2 inches long, but that's because you stop measuring from crown to rump at 20 weeks, then you go by the full lenght as the legs are now fully formed!

She is now 3/4 of a pound in weight and what was once just nudges she feels are now strong kicks! I still am yet to feel them but I think I will any day now... I will let you know when.

I think my wife needs me more than ever now and I'm ready to take on more responsibility. We both just said today that we've thought recently "why did we do this" reacting to the stress and pressure of a pending birth, but we laughed about it and I think this is what many couples go through halfway through a pregnancy. No one is truly ready for the enormous change and responsibility of having a child, and we are just getting ready the best we can.This weekend we are going to clean out the baby's room which up until now has been used for storage. It will be so nice to help my wife nest which I have learned is very important to the process. We even got our first gift of baby clothing, a cute pair of footie pajamas!

Sympathy Weight Update: Unchanged, but hopefully will drop in the next few weeks, I'm starting a workout routine which feels really good. It's been awhile since I've gone jogging several times a week. I think I might start doing more yoga too.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as a Spaghetti Squash, Holy Moly!

See How My Baby's Growing at 21 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Carrot!

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20 Weeks Pregnant - IT'S A GIRL!

Click Here to See the before and after of our Sex Determining Ultrasound on 11/22/2011!

That's right, it is a girl!!! We got the sex determining ultrasound a week and a half ago but I had to refrain from posting the results because we were waiting to tell our family and my mother has seen my blog. Hi mom, love you!

We are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO happy that we are having a little baby girl. It was simply amazing seeing the sex determining ultrasound and how she was moving and even shaking her head at one point. It's hard to tell from this ultrasound picture (she looks a bit more like a creature than a baby here) but she looked absolutely beautiful and they showed us her growing limbs, fingers, bones, organs, brain, and they even zoomed in the heart beating with the four chambers clearly pumping away. The heartbeat was a little faster than normal, 168 beats per minute.

So, my wife is relieved. In her family they have all girls. She is the middle of 3. She has 2 cousins that are girls, and her sister had 2. In fact the last male in the family to be born was Bob and he's 50! On the other hand, I am one of 5 boys in my family so they are overjoyed to have another girl.

We told them with a riddle poem that has the answer of whether it was a boy or a girl hidden vertically in the first letter of each line. She's so creative!

Baby Gender Riddle
by Nikki

I know you’re all wondering what will it be?
Time & this riddle will tell, you’ll see!
So will it be a historical event, where the men will have joy-
As it is rare in this family to have a boy?
Growing baby, should we buy you dolls & pearls?
If only our family isn’t tired of so many girls!
Rejoice on tax day either way,
Let’s celebrate that a baby has seen its first day!

I showed the first letter's bold for display but if you're going to use this obviously don't make them bold and using a really fancy handwriting helps to mask the answer!

It was a great idea, this could be customized for anyone's family for a baby gender reveal idea and it was really fun for them to figure out, her family really likes puzzles too so it was more interesting than other ideas like cupcakes with colored frosting inside.

We have been thinking of names, but those are still secret for now. Let's just say we're thinking traditional names are making a comeback!

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Transition to a Father's Mind

My mind is rapidly changing now, evolving into a father's mind. I don't believe one can easily define what it means to be a father. It is complex and the change takes place over many years and with many stages. I'm just entering the first stage which is first acceptance, and coming to terms with my pending fatherhood. Right now I'm learning. I'm learning it's not about me anymore. My needs are quickly becoming secondary. I'm starting to imagine what my baby's face will look like. I haven't had any dreams yet but I think I will soon. It makes me deeply content to know I will be a father soon. To me there is no bigger aspiration as an adult male and to strive to be a good father is a privileged I am happy to enjoy.

19 Weeks Pregnant - Hair Sprouting, Sense of Hearing Developing

My wife is now at 19 weeks pregnant today. We are coming up on the halfway point. My baby is now about 1/2 a foot now from crown to rump, about the size of a heirloom tomato! He or She (yet to be determined) is now about 8-1/2 ounces in weight and his or her legs are now in proportion with the rest of their body. My baby also looks very squished in the uterus according to pictures with his or her legs taking up more room. I can't imagine it! It seems like my baby would be so claustrophobic in there, but I'm sure right now my baby is not worried about that.

They also say some studies suggest that the baby will be able to hear sounds now, so I'm starting to talk and sing occasionally in a soothing voice, not sure if it helps but it's worth a try right? Perhaps we will put on some classical music to help soothe our little one. My wife is still feeling the baby move a lot however I still cannot feel through belly. She says it moves a lot but doesn't seem to be pushing forward where my hand is. Perhaps the baby is just faced another direction.

My wife is also starting to experience Round Ligament Pain. It's a stabbing sensation (I know, she has all the luck) every so often on either side as she has moved a lot or sometimes when bending over. It's caused when the ligament supporting the uterus stretches to support the growing weight.

This week we attended a meet the midwives event at Regions hospital in St. Paul, MN. We got to meet all of the midwives that deliver there and got to tour the facilities. The birth center is very nice with modern decor, wide hallways, and spacious rooms. It didn't even smell like a hospital in the labor and delivery rooms and everyone was very welcoming. The also showed us their 2 inflatable water birth tubs!

They are about 6 ft in diameter and look kind of like an inflatable kitty pool but with much higher walls and handles on the inside to help you get in and out. They said your partner can be in the tub also but said to make sure you have a swimsuit on, they had an issue where a husband decided to go au naturale! Funny! They also said they put a new cover over it each time to keep it sanitary. There is even a nice comfy leather chair for me to sit in that rolls out to a bed in case I need to get comfortable while we wait for the baby to come.

As Thanksgiving is approaching we're waiting to schedule the sex-determining ultrasound. Unfortunately it had to get delayed because we're not at 20 weeks yet. I'll let you know when it happens though and I'll deliver the big news. Stay tuned!

Sympathy Weight Update: Unchanged, 201 lbs.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be as long as a Banana believe it or not!!!

See How My Baby's Growing at 19 Weeks

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Heirloom Tomato

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18 Weeks Pregnant - Heard the Heartbeat Again, 1-1/2 Weeks Until the Sex Determining Ultrasound!!!

My wife is now at 18 weeks. That's right, I skipped week 17, got a bit behind on the posting. However, I will catch up in this post. My baby is now about 5-1/2 inches from crown to rump, about the size of a bell pepper. He or She (yet to be determined) is now about 7 ounces in weight and is flexing his or her arms and legs. My wife is feeling the baby A LOT! She will tell me each time she feels it by saying "Baby" in an excited voice and clutching the bottom of her belly. I can't feel it yet, but I hope soon.

So far we've had 2 prenatal exams and an ultrasound at 8 weeks, and we just had another regular exam this week where our midwife measured the uterus to be about exactly 5-1/2 inches in length and we could hear the baby's heartbeat again! It was strong and normal. It was a perfectly normal 145 beats per minute and sounded wonderful. Our midwife is really nice also. She said there are many options for delivery such as a water birth, hypno-birth (which apparently is just like it sounds), and the standard epidural traditional lie on your back ordeal. So far my wife feels like the water birth may be the best option. I can get in the water with her and hold her while she goes through it. Also, they say it helps with contractions and can minimize tearing, but we'll see when that time comes. You cannot have pain medication with a water birth, but they said if the pain is too great when you're in the thick of things you can always change your mind and you're in a hospital so there are many other options. I think the thing I like best about a midwife is that they are really dedicated to a birth plan and really want my wife to make the best decisions for her and our baby. She is very supportive!

Now for the most exciting news. We have the Sex Determining Ultrasound in only 1-1/2 weeks!!! It's a little bit before the standard 20 week waiting period, but they said the technology is there to find out sooner. I can't wait to find out and be able to refer to my baby as he, or she, instead of "It." In case you're interested. I do not have a preference of a boy or a girl. Contrary to popular belief, not all men are so caught up in their own legacy to have to have a boy. I would be perfectly fine with a girl I just want my baby to be healthy and happy.

Sympathy Weight Update: Current Weight is 201. As it turns out I had some scale difficulties last week and it was totally inaccurate and had my at 192 by mistake. Total sympathy weight gained to date - 16 pounds! I would like to stay at 200 pounds or less, I've never weighed this much! I know, some of you that are older are probably laughing. "You ain't seen nothing yet, boy"

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be the size of a large heirloom Tomato!

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's a Bell Pepper

17, 18, weeks, move, feel, sex, determining, ultrasound, kicking, 2nd trimester, baby, c-section, home birth, Father, Man perspective, Men pregnancy, morning sickness, pregnancy, sympathy weight

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16 Weeks Pregnant - My Baby Has Toenails, Sympathy Weight Update

My wife is now at 16 weeks. This week we are now in the rapid growth phase. The baby has now grown to about 4-1/2 inches long and about 3-1/2 ounces in weight, the size of an avocado from head to bottom! The uterus is now growing and stretching with the ligaments holding it in place are strengthening and growing. My baby's scalp pattern is starting to form which will eventually create the hair growth. She is feeling the baby more now which is very early. She gets happy and tells me when she does. I can't feel it yet but I get happy too just knowing that my baby is doing well and moving up a storm!

Her morning sickness is mostly gone but she still takes a combination of half of a 25mg of Unisom sleeping pill with a vitamin B6. There's no telling when she will be able to stop taking this, but we hope soon. She is also getting very tired and is starting to become more limited in her physical ability. We were raking leaves the other day and I needed to do most of the work because she cannot exert or bend over too much. I love her and am happy to do most of the work though, I gave her the leaf blower and that worked out great!

I think this week we were less stressed. We watched a great movie about pregnancy that you should give a look if you're expecting. It's on Netflix streaming and is called "The Business of Being Born" and stars Ricki Lake. It's a controversial documentary that looks at the business of the hospital system and the potential harmful side effects of things like drugs and Cesarean sections (C-sections) and strongly advocates natural and home birth. It was very interesting and made us think about how she'd like to give birth when that day comes. She doesn't think she would want a home birth, but it's something to think about. We have been bonding more over the little things and are growing closer as mother and father to be.

Sympathy Weight Update: Current Weight is 192. Actually lost a few pounds. Total sympathy weight gained to date - 12 pounds.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be the size of an Turnip!

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's an Avocado

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16 weeks, 2nd trimester, baby, c-section, home birth, Father, Man perspective, Men pregnancy, morning sickness, pregnancy, sympathy weight

15 Weeks Pregnant - My Baby Can Sense Light!

My wife is now at 15 weeks. The baby has now grown to about 4 inches long, the size of an apple from head to bottom! They say the baby can now sense light, and you can shine a flashlight close to her belly towards where the uterus is and you may be able to sense the baby moving away from the beam. Well we tried it, didn't work, and then we stopped due to an irrational fear of harming our baby with a flashlight. Needless to say we are worried about the health of the baby these days and are watching everything very closely. My wife has also been starting to feel the baby this soon! At first she said it felt like a marble rolling around inside her, but yesterday she said while at work it felt like a little fist punching her insides! That made me laugh.

Her nausea is decreasing but she still takes a combination of half of a 25mg of Unisom sleeping pill with a vitamin B6. The doctor says it can help with the nausea and she thinks it seems to be working. Her belly keeps getting bigger and bigger which is surprising how fast she is showing. She is not a vain person but jokingly says she's getting fat. I keep telling her she's not fat, she's pregnant, there's a difference. Besides, she looks even more beautiful with new curves and a beautiful belly that she didn't have before. I love her more ever day, but with the love also comes stress.

These days I'm more stressed out than ever. It's because of uncertainty. I'm uncertain about my growing baby and knowing it's not yet "viable" yet like websites say, that is able to survive if something went wrong (I think it becomes viable in a month or so). I'm also uncertain about pending fatherhood. I know I have it within me to be a great father but I know I have so much to learn it's overwhelming. Lastly, money is also a source of stress as we are still unsure how much time both of us can get off work and how to pay for any uncompensated time off. But I have to remember to breathe. One step at a time. I do have faith that everything will work out for the best. I know if times get tough, we will get tougher, that's just the kind of people that we are.

Well that's all for now, next week my baby will be the size of an Avocado! Oh no, suddenly I just got a craving for guacamole, just what I need, more cravings! Speaking of cravings I think my sympathy weight has leveled off at around 14 pounds so far, but I'll weigh myself and give an update next week just to be sure.

See What's Happening Inside the Fetus this Week

See how big my baby is getting week by week, now it's an Apple!

15 weeks, 2nd trimester, baby, Father, Man perspective, Men pregnancy, morning sickness, pregnancy, sympathy weight

Can you have an only child and avoid making them a spoiled brat?

So my wife and I were talking last night and she was talking about how sick she felt and how she already is feeling like she doesn't want to do this again. So we started talking about the age old question of having an only child or having more. So I started thinking why not have an only child? Shortly after I asked this question on Yahoo Answers

Yahoo Question asked 10/17/2011


Q: Can you have an only child and avoid making them a spoiled brat?

My wife is 14 weeks pregnant (2nd trimester) and she already is saying she doesn't want to go through it again. Just wondering if anyone knows of evidence that there's a parenting style that can avoid spoiling an only child? I think know the basics, teach them humility, a good work ethic, don't give them everything they want, socialize them with other kids, etc.



A: Best Answer I chose- Mrs. Bliss: You are at no extra risk of spoiling an only child. Simply having more of everything to give to one child does not make a child spoiled. At the root of spoiling a child is a parent that does everything for the child. This begins with a child that has no responsibilities - tidying up toys, helping to tidy his/her bedroom, helping with small tasks, basic cleaning up after oneself - and a parent that does everything for the child. From the time my children were old enough to pull out their toys (about 9-10 months) I would involved them in tidying up the mess. They just sat there and watched but I was specific with them, "let's tidy the toys before lunch!" and then thank them for helping. As they got older they started helping more and more. Ensure the child helps with reasonable things and does things for him/herself. Parents with multiple children can still fall into this trap of spoiling.

Also think if ways you can use yourself and you wife as a substitute for a sibling. Let's say every Friday night is movie night. Have the child pick the movie one week and then the parents the next week. Obviously you will pick a movie appropriate for the child but the point is to teach the child that he/she must accept the choice of someone else. Do the same thing with restaurants, days out (you picked the zoo last month so this month we are going to a museum that mom likes), and even dinner options. Think about ways that you can teach an only child about getting to make choices sometimes but allowing other to choose at times.


Other Answers:

Superguy: Of course. With an only child you as a parent can spend more time with them.

Bubs: I'm an only child and I don't consider myself a spoiled brat, just go with good principles and don't actually spoil them, make sure they know they need to earn things. that said, don't trust your wife's word now, she may change her mind after the baby is born, when I was pregnant with my second child I told my hubby never again, an hour after she was born I had decided we would have another.

Ozboz48: There is no evidence that only children are spoiled. You raise them the same way you raise a larger family. Boundaries, responsibility, and lots of love.

Doom: As long as they learn things like sharing and good manners, then everyone should be fine.

Mrs. Bliss: You are at no extra risk of spoiling an only child. Simply having more of everything to give to one child does not make a child spoiled. At the root of spoiling a child is a parent that does everything for the child. This begins with a child that has no responsibilities - tidying up toys, helping to tidy his/her bedroom, helping with small tasks, basic cleaning up after oneself - and a parent that does everything for the child. From the time my children were old enough to pull out their toys (about 9-10 months) I would involved them in tidying up the mess. They just sat there and watched but I was specific with them, "let's tidy the toys before lunch!" and then thank them for helping. As they got older they started helping more and more. Ensure the child helps with reasonable things and does things for him/herself. Parents with multiple children can still fall into this trap of spoiling.

Also think if ways you can use yourself and you wife as a substitute for a sibling. Let's say every Friday night is movie night. Have the child pick the movie one week and then the parents the next week. Obviously you will pick a movie appropriate for the child but the point is to teach the child that he/she must accept the choice of someone else. Do the same thing with restaurants, days out (you picked the zoo last month so this month we are going to a museum that mom likes), and even dinner options. Think about ways that you can teach an only child about getting to make choices sometimes but allowing other to choose at times.

peanut 2: Yes, every mother says during her pregnancy and labour she will never go through that again. After the birth, many change their minds so she may too.
But of course, she may not.

But being an only child doesnt make a child spolied.
Not having boundarys and getting everything they want without earning it etc does.

You can give them the things they want, as long as they appreciate it and dont take it for granted. Its only when they start expecting things and getting in a strop if they dont get what they want they become spoilt

Susan: As your child gets older, you will face peer pressure from both other parents and their children. The best tool for NOT spoiling is the word NO. We live in a culture of yes-parenting (not wanting to say no to our children or see them unhappy for a single second). Saying NO is one of the many ways to avoid raising a spoiled child. More in my book, The Case for the Only Child. Susan Newman, Ph.D.
Source(s):
The Book of NO: 250 Ways to Say It--and Mean It; see at www.susannewmanphd.com or at Psychology Today Singletons Blog, www.psychologytoday.com/blog/singletons

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